I have the hepatitis C virus.
I knew two weeks ago after a routine check up that anti-bodies had been found, however there was a 20% / 1 in 5 chance of me clearing it on my own with my own immune system. For those who don't know, the presence of anti-bodies does not mean you definitely have the virus present in the blood it just means you have had it at some point and you will either still have it or have got rid of it. This is confirmed via a second blood test.
I have the virus.
All sorts have things have been going round my head these last two weeks. How? Who? Where? Why?
My parents said "It must be because of sharing needles."
But that's simply not the case. Although I don't doubt that this has been caught by contaminated equipment, eg; water, filters, steri-cup (Spoon), it wasn't through directly sharing needles. It doesn't work like that. Another myth. Do you really think after a drug addict has a 'hit' another addict will sit there watching and say, "Can I use that after you?" Not when fresh needles are so readily available and if desperate you can re use your own. I don't doubt this does happen, but in most cases not. It's just not the done thing.
I know what I have said does not make this right, and I know that this could have been entirely preventable, but as my doctor says it's good that I know so I can deal with it before its too late.
And he's right.
I had a blood test in July 2009 and this came back negative, and I have had liver function tests in between that, which have not shown abnormality's either, so I know I have caught it within the first fourteen months for sure. This is good, as damage is yet to be done.
Hepatitis is Latin for inflammation of the liver though the word hepatitis sounds much, much more intimidating. The 'hepatitis C' virus, is a virus that can cause 'inflammation'.
One of the dangers is that it is symptomless in most people and the body is remarkably good at masking it's presence. Symptoms don't persist in most people until it is already advanced.
The obvious danger with that, is long term, if left untreated, in 20-30 years you can end up with bad cirrhosis (scarring) of the liver, resulting in liver failure/cancer, and the need for a liver transplant. All not good. This damage if left undetected is irreparable hence the need to catch it early.
It is a blood borne virus. It can only been transmitted through blood, NOT through sex. The catch with it is like HIV (although otherwise dissimilar) its a crafty little fucker and can be hard to treat.
Even though it is curable, it is not curable in everyone. It depends on what type you have. There are 5 types, 1,2,3,4,and 5 or 6 I think. Nearly everyone in the UK has types 1,2,and 3. If you have type 1 there is around a 50% chance of curing it completely. If you have types 2 or 3 there is around a 4 in 5 chance of curing it completely. If you don't cure it, the long term effects are (well read above paragraph)...not good. However it was only discovered in 1989 and new treatments, and knowledge about the virus are advancing all the time. That is to say, I don't want to risk waiting for something\a cure to just 'pop up'.
The doctor told me that it is estimated up to 70% of IV (Intravenous/injecting) drug users are carriers? Can you believe that? That's 7 out of 10?? When he told me this I was astounded. I can't believe how ignorant I've been. I always thought I'd be ok. I'm fairly careful, look after myself, am educated, dress well, have a roof over my head, quite unlike the stereotypical 'dirty junkie' that people imagine to carry viruses. I've learnt the hard way, that viruses/diseases/illnesses don't discriminate.
It made me realise that I have caught this thing through 3 things, ignorance, stupidity, and\or laziness. If this isn't the kick up the arse I need to turn my life around I don't know what will? It's just ironic that it comes at a time where I was planning to move to London, get back into my acting, rejoin Spotlight, Equity, Actors Centre, move away from the temptations of home, and have a proper go at what I should have done on leaving drama school 6 years ago. All positive things.
6 years ago? I just can't believe it, where has it gone. The drugs have taken half a decade. They're not going to take me too.
The doctor has told me I MUST stop using needles before I start treatment. The treatment is unpleasant and has nasty side effects so I need to be in a good place mentally. Even though this might seem a no brainer, it will still be hard. This new found knowledge won't make it easier, as anyone in the same boat would testify.
I hadn't told anyone in case I'd cleared it myself, and didn't want to cause upset and worry for nothing. I told my parents today. My mum got upset and cried which set me off for the first time since I got this news. It's good really, emotions have to come out somewhere. The truth is I'm scared. Petrified. It's just being typically male (stubborn), and aware of the self inflicted nature of this, am too scared and embarrassed to admit it, or ask for help.
It's all a numbers and percentages game now, and I feel like a bit of a pawn in the playing out of my own fate/destiny.The fight starts here.
This blog will be a good place to document my thoughts for the benefit of others going through the same thing, and also for myself, in order to focus my mind on something positive. So if you read this and know anyone in the same circumstance/s, put them in touch. I'm not an expert, but offer some understanding, support, and humanity to this madness.
I'm sorry this post has seemed a bit fact based, and preachy/educational. I don't mean to undermine or patronise, I just want people to understand not sympathise. I'm still trying to get my head around the situation so writing it down helps.
I will include some websites below for more information a hepatitis C, and any comments/questions on what I'm going through are most welcome.
I will document accordingly anyway. I am also very aware and conscious that this blog will not become a diary of a 'medical fight' or story of a 'fight against adversity' as this was not the purpose of it's inception. It will still be peppered with anecdotes and stories of how I stumble through my exciting mess of a life, trying to make sense of everything as I see fit as promised and intended.On a lighter note, a letter came this week from 'Her Majesty's Revenue & Customs', thinking it was a bill I avoided it for two days. I only have a tax rebate for £460, so swings and roundabouts.....
For more information:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hepatitis_C (Wikipedia article on Hepatitis C)
http://www.bbc.co.uk/health/physical_health/conditions/hepatitisc1.shtml (BBC Health)
http://www.hepctrust.org.uk/ (UK Hepatitis C Trust)
http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/hepatitis-c/Pages/Introduction.aspx (NHS)
http://www.hepfi.org/ (Hepatitis Foundation International)
No comments:
Post a Comment