Addicts all over the town and county have gone into meltdown. 'Gear' is available, it's just shit. A really pale, white, clumpy, light powder that has been so incredibly stamped on (cut), that the finished product is now unsellable. It comes to something when hardened dealers, with habits to support are refusing to buy into it. It takes a really shit type of gear for this to even be entertained. But someone has to make a stand, or the suppliers will keep buying it in, if people keep taking it off them. After all, why should they care?
I've resented having to spend £30 for a long time, on something that, apart from removing the illness, produces nothing in terms of feeling, taste, or quality. I'd get more warmth from burning my money.
It's not all doom and gloom though because one or two people have, and can, still get quality stuff. Eight dealers supplying the town, down to one or two in the space of a week is a drastic reduction. This has produced massive pressure on these one or two people. Everyone is vying for their numbers. Getting other people to ring for them. Ordering 5,6, then 7 bags at a time. The number increasing the more people persuade them to get for them. Hanging round, five people, cramped in a small Ford Fiesta, parked up in a car park, sweating, and waiting, waiting, waiting. If turned away, they sulk and jealousy creeps in. A desperate addict, is a dangerous commodity. They become senseless, panic driven and spiteful. Doing anything, be friending anyone to get their fix. People sell their bodies for this stuff for fucks sake, who knows what lengths some people are capable of. This puts these few people, with good stuff in a pressured position. They only have limited quantities, and need to look after themselves, as well as the people who have been loyal to them. The word that their stuff is good, spreads like a wild fire, reaching all corners of the addict community in hours. Phones are bombarded, deviousness and bad sportsmanship comes into play, as people hunt harder, and harder, for their one fix. The rule in this game, is look after yourself. It's battle of the fittest, most connected.
I'm ok. I know one of them well. However this puts pressure on me. I had to turn my phone off this afternoon the pressure was so intense. Eighteen missed calls on my phone when I turned it on. Incredible. I could help people, but then I lose out in the long run. I feel bad, and am the kind of person who tries to please everyone. However, would they help me if the roles were reversed? No. Did they want to know me, two, even three days ago? No. This is a world of superficiality, selfishness, and deception. You keep your friends close, and your enemies closer. I'm not dramatising things either. This is really how things work. It really is incredible.
I know I have to use this contact to my advantage, now more than ever. Stock up quick, like squireling nuts away for the winter.
These few will be revered, courted and celebrated by the few who get there 'meal ticket', public enemy number one to the majority. That's the way things go unfortunately. The ones who go without will survive. Though deeply unpleasant, a rattle never killed anyone. Something will turn up it always does.
I blame the armed forces. Although doing an incredible, brave, dangerous job abroad in Afghanistan, and although they have my utter, heartfelt respect and admiration, part of their job is to destroy the poppy fields and heroin supply used to part fund the Taliban's hate filled, terror mission. Around 80% of the heroin or opium in this country comes via Afghanistan, so will have a massive effect. Seven years into the invasion, and the pinch is starting to be felt.
It still doesn't account for the shit quality of the stuff that is here. That is down to greed filled, profiteering, and careless suppliers. Aiming to make maximum profit from the suddenly reduced amounts of opiates that they are forced to deal with. It hazards the question, what exactly do they cut it with? There is the danger. Putting your trust in a complete stranger, ten people down the supply chain, before you even put it in your arm. You must think we're mental. I used to too. It just becomes normal, and a necessity. To feel well, to function, to be normal, that becomes your only objective, a fixation that knows no moral limits. You sometimes forget what it's like just to 'be' normal. Whatever that is? I haven't felt 'normal' or 'well' for nearly six years. At least once every day, I have felt shit. I don't want sympathy. Just a bit more of a general understanding of the situation that is facing a large section of society, who are otherwise reviled and ignored.
The army destroy all the opiates, that much is obvious. But it's still needed for the medical industry. Morphine, diamorphine, co-codamol, tamazepam, they all contain opiates. All come from the same source, the opium poppy. They can't destroy everything. I just wish people would open there eyes to the misery and struggle the criminalising of addictive drugs causes. Not to mention the criminal records slapped willy-nilly on otherwise unassuming, harmless people, because of a choice they make with 'their' own bodies. Punishing people, by making them suffer. For making a bad choice.
Methadone doesn't work. if it was one or two people sticking their fingers up, or not getting on with methadone as a treatment plan, then I'd put it down to lack of will power. But every addict I have ever met, bar two or three, have failed and abused the methadone treatment plan. This isn't done to rebel, or for fun as would be believed. Every addict would love the opportunity to feel well for free. To have normality on prescription. This obviously just isn't working. People 'choose' to do drugs, and as Bill Hicks says, "don't protect us, we're adults.". Why should authorities (essentially just regular people with a bit of power) tell us what we can or can't do, with plants that grow on this 'free' earth. It's like in porno magazines where they put stars on the nipples, don't protect us we're adults. What I do to my body is my business.
Allowing me to put myself at risk due to the greed of another is just plain irresponsible. People will do drugs whether they are legal, or illegal. This won't change. If you hate drugs it will always be illegal to you regardless of the law. If you are going to try them, they will always be legal, regardless of the law. The police have little or no impact on the supply, all they do is disrupt. Wasting money on mildly disrupting things, its absurd. Why not prescribe and control, and help regulate the reduction in tolerance for addicts. Take the danger, illegality, routine, risk and 'fun' out of things. This is the way to stop it. Offer it on prescription for a fee. Cheaper than buying on the streets, but still enough to put the money to good use. Instead of fighting it with this insane 'war on drugs', embrace and control things. At least you would know the money is no longer funding organised criminal networks, and addicts aren't putting dangerous unknown toxins into there bodies.
However it would take a government, and society with an open mind, and a massive pair of bollocks to implement this. The class of cannabis went up and down, back and forth from C -B , more times than a fucking boomerang attached to an epileptic yo-yo. All because the government shit their pants, regardless of scientific, and medical opinion. There only objective is getting the public to lick their arse, to win elections, regardless of who they trample on. Let alone the people at the bottom of the pile, the lowest form of society. They don't care who gets hurt and suffers in the process.
So many deaths from overdose and abuse could be avoided. I know five people who died this year. All under the age of 45. All could have been avoided. They say ignorance and naivety is the biggest killer. It makes me so mad.
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